I have been down that road. The road where I thought would lead me to womanhood. The path I thought was the best possible means by which I could prove how much of an adult I am. You know the saying, if you play with fire you will be burnt and lady I have been burnt too many a time.
I was a hopeless cause. My heart raced the minute a man walked into a room, especially if he was a "Christian". At that instant I let my guard down and ladies that is a No No. I let them talk to me and soothe me and seduce me (not physically but emotionally). Then I found each man tell me after a few months, I am not attracted to you or I am already in a committed relationship. Ouch that did hurt, but this was part of my refining process.
My desperation for a man came from the severe heartbreak from my "first love". I am sure you ladies can identify with what I am talking about. The first man you really loved and knew you wanted to marry him the first couple of weeks you've been in relationship with him. The man you though you could not live without. That my friends was my downfall and to make matters worst, his heart was not after God. I held on out of desperation and gave my heart and mind to him. I placed him above God and that propelled me deeper into trouble.
Until that faithful day, God called me out of it. I was so blind I could not see the trouble I was placing myself in. Jesus began showing His heart to me and that the passion He had for me. I began to realise he was verbally abusive towards me and that he didn't have his best interest towards me. I stood boldly and broke up with him, I felt great after I dropped the dead weight until a week later I found out he was with another girl. I went into such a depression, that all I did was cry every night. I couldn't sleep, I didn't want to eat, I couldn't stand to see him at school with her and I was dying on the inside, but God stepped in and became the man I needed.
He dried every tear. He comforted me. He told me I am beautiful. He told me I am blessed. He washed me clean from my past mistakes. He purified me and held me close. I felt love for the first time, but I was still confused. My foundation was not solid on Him, I still needed a man, I still needed to feel whole. So there I went once again, looking for love in the wrong places. I knew there were good Christian men out there, but that didn't necessarily mean they were all together and right with Daddy.
I let down my guard so many times. It hurt too many times and it was painful. Jesus was calling me closer to Him, but I thought I would lose with Him, because He didn't know what was right for me. I thought I had it all together since I knew my previous relationship didn't work because he wasn't saved. I came to the end of myself. Torn apart and confused. Hurt, depressed, angry, suicidal, you name it. I had nothing left after many futile attempts, the enemy had me drained and I lacked the capacity to be used by God.
He spoke to me and said clearly, "Melinda you have to give over your total life to me. I want ALL of you my love. I want to be the Lord of your life. I want you to understand your purpose on earth, I want you to be able to stand on your two feet and be a complete individual. You let down your guard and you place yourself in unwanted situations. Please trust me and I will lead you."
I cried and I let go. I submitted and I came to the full realisation that He has my back. That He is in full control and that He knows what's best for me. Would you know it a guy came around after He spoke to me. The good news is that I learnt my lesson well. I am sure God breathed a huge sigh of relief and said by George she's finally got it! This same guy claimed he was saved and that I was to be his wife. I consulted God and He didn't answer me. Anytime you don't get an answer, ladies that means no. Believe me it's worth it to trust God.
After that test, the man of my dreams came into my life and it blows me away to this very day that he's here with me. Even when he came, I still had my objections. I told God he's too nice, he's this, he's that. I still had that "ideal" man in my head. Once again, He kicked me off my high horse and removed the scales from my eyes. I began to see the jewel of the man that he is and I am blessed to this very day. Thank God He set me straight and disciplined me. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and He knows what's best.
Ladies it pays to serve God with a whole heart and to be obedient to Him. Why not give Him your total heart today. Why not submit to His will. His will is not meant to harm you but to protect you. Don't think for one second it's too late for God to clean you and turn around your situations. Don't think for one minute that He will mislead you and not make your ways straight and clear. My God will not hurt you, but only bless you.
His plans and are perfect and painless. He has the ability to stop your emotional roller coaster and make you a solid woman. He has the ability to transform your financial situation and make you a more responsible woman. He has the ability to remove all the hurt, pain and guilt from abusive relationships. He has the ability to be Lord over your sexuality and make you straight. He has the ability to love, cherish and protect you. He's worth the wait!
Give Him in all of you, He's madly in love with you!
Comfort Her
